feedback jeder art Hard to say goodbye (Juni 2022)

[Laura Marie]

Just graduated from school a few days ago

I have numerous reasons to be happy, I know

But I’m sitting here with a wet eye

It’s just so hard to say goodbye

 

Tears come streaming down my face

This was a peaceful and friendly place

So many things I’m gonna miss

So grateful I had the chance to experience this

 

I’ve met some wonderful people who are so kind

I’ll keep all these magical moments in mind

I’ll remember all these days that felt great

And all these precious memories I have made

 

Saying goodbye just hurts so hard

As these 4 years were a crucial part

Now I’m gonna pursue my aim

But nothing will ever be the same

[Aries]

Hallo Laura,

 

mir gefällt dein sehr schönes und emotionales englisches Gedicht zum Abschied nach einer offenbar positiv verlebten Zeit sehr gut.

 

In einigen Zeilen habe ich persönlich etwas Probleme mit dem Rhythmus deiner Worte.

Da du für alle Kommentare offen bist, hier einige Vorschläge von meiner Seite, die sich aus meiner Sicht flüssiger lesen würden.

 

Z2: I've numerous reasons to be happy, I know

Z4: As it's just so hard to say goodbye

Z8: So grateful I could experience this

Z9: I've met some wonderful people, so kind

Z11: I'll remember these days that felt so great

Z12: And all these precious memories made

Z15: Now I'm gonna pursue my personal aim

 

Grüße,

Aries