feedback jeder art Oval Office

[Schmuddelkind]

Advisor: Mr. President, we need to talk about an uncomfortably technical, but nevertheless very important issue now: the nuclear codes. As you can see, there are several buttons on your desk.
President: Boring!
Advisor: First you have to type in a code consisting of eight digits to get the system started. Tentatively I chose your date of birth, but I will show you later how to change the code.
President (types in code): No, that's fine with me.
Advisor: Then you use these buttons in order to define a target.
President: I choose China.
Advisor: OK - it's OK. The missiles won't go off, unless you push the big red button.
President (pushes the button): That one?
Advisor: Oh Jesus Christ! OK, Mr. President - don't panic!
President: I'm cool.
Advisor: You have one minute to push the button again to take back the order.
President (pushes the button again): I saved the world.
Advisor: Woosh! Yes, you did, Mr. President.
President: That's a funny little thing. Danger on - danger off - danger on - danger off - danger on - oh, I'm on the news!
Anchorman: ....caused irritations after having said in his inauguration speech, quote: "I grabbed Lady Liberty by the p****. I did. It's true. And I'm proud of it, though at best I can give her a six - fat b****! We don't want your tired, your poor, your drug dealers and your rapists."
Advisor: You have to...
President: Totally taken out of context. Sad!
Advisor: You really have to focus now, for god's sake!
President: It's a rigged system, I tell ya.
Advisor: Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!
President: Everyone knows.
Advisor: Mr president!!!
President: That's me!
Advisor: Oh fine, it's too late. The nukes are on their way.
President: Oops. Can you get them back, please?
Advisor: No, Mr. President. Unfortunately I cannot.
President: Oh, then someone should send China an e-mail.
Advisor: You have to call them. You have to tell them it was a mistake and that you are very, very, very sorry.
President: No, I would never do that.
Advisor: But you made a mistake and now you have to apologize, before China declares war on us.
President: You mean, they're that angry? Can't you call them? Tell them it was locker room teasing!
Advisor (dials a number): No, Mr. President. This is up to you.
President (takes the phone): Hello China? Hi, how are you doing, folks? This is America calling. Glad, I got through. I thought it might get difficult because of the missiles... Yeah, the missiles. There are massive nuclear missiles on their way to you. We sent them... Yeah, they'll destroy many of your cities. Millions of people will die. Sad! Listen, if you wanna talk to somebody, I'll be there - but not now; they're showing old episodes of "The Apprentice". Anyway, we should keep in touch. I have to know how you guys built such an amazing wall. It's huge! Nice talking to ya. Bye.

 

 

(Geschrieben am Vorabend des Wahlsieges Trumps)

[Joshua Coan]

Hello Schmuddelkind!

 

Ja, das ist der Präsident! Über ihn wird auch berichtet, dass er sich seine morgendlich fein zusammengestellten News und Tagesaufgaben, nur grob überfliegt oder gar nicht mal anschaut. God bless us! And God bless the united states of america! Three cheers for four more years with Mr.Dump. 

 

Best regards JC

[Schmuddelkind]

Danke für deinen Kommentar, Joshua!

 

Am 6.9.2020 um 19:59 schrieb Joshua Coan:

Ja, das ist der Präsident!

Oh, ich bin froh, dass man ihn tatsächlich auch erkennt.

 

Am 6.9.2020 um 19:59 schrieb Joshua Coan:

Über ihn wird auch berichtet, dass er sich seine morgendlich fein zusammengestellten News und Tagesaufgaben, nur grob überfliegt oder gar nicht mal anschaut.

Damals, als ich den Text einen Tag vor der Präsidentenwahl geschrieben habe, hielt ich es ja noch für Satire, aber inzwischen wurde die Satire längst von der Realität eingeholt. Wenn man mal einen Schritt zur Seite tritt, ist es eigentlich unglaublich, was zur Zeit alles auf der Welt passiert - in Amerika im Besonderen. Aber grundsätzlich habe ich das Gefühl, die Welt wird immer verrückter. Ich wäre auch null überrascht, wenn Trump wieder gewählt wird, obwohl das mit gesundem Menschenverstand ja eigentlich gar nicht in Einklang zu bringen ist.

 

LG