feedback jeder art At War

[Hase]

At War

With You.

 

In Front Of Your Open Door I Was Waiting

What For, Did You Never Wonder?

Wishing, Believing, Pretending To Love, Though Hating

From The Far, Threatening Thunder.

 

And Now We’re At War

Past Days’ Joy, Torn By Deadly Flashes Of Lightening

My Mind Is Sore

I’m Wounded And Tired Of All The Restless Fighting.

For Nothing.

 

At War

With Myself.

 

With Every New Day, Every Moment I’m At War

Time Stands Still, Though Flying Much Too Fast

I’m Going Crazy, Can’t Look Into The Mirror Any More

Desperately Longing For Peace To Last.

 

Killing Like A Murderer, Roaring Thunder In My Ears

Tears Are Flowing Into Seas, Blood Is Running

Still I Won’t Cry For Help, As I Know No One Hears

I’m Cruel, Heartless And Mad, No Longer Cunning.

 

At War

With All That Is

And Therefore Slowly Dying

But Also Therefore Still Alive.

[Carlos]

Good morning Hase,

I think I can understand your poem.

In the Roman Lyrik the poets speak often from the door of the beloved woman. How often they spend the night at her closed door...

But in your case, her door is open, it is you who hesitate and do not want to go in.

Why?

We as readers begin to elucubrate, to try to find the reason, a logical explanation.

Perhaps is the lyrical I jealous? His ego is hurt?

Everything is possible in love.

First you say, "I'm at war with you". Later you tell us, that you are at war with yourself.

Probably both is right. 

Well my friend, I have tried to understand.

Apart from the logic, your verses sound very good.

Have a nice day

Charles

[Hase]

Hello Carlos,

thank you very much for your feedback, you may be right, my poem is not always logical, but in some way, that's what it was supposed to be, because I kind of wanted to express a "chaos" inside me. What you said about hesitating is exactly what I wanted to express: My Lover is ready to let me in, the doors are open, but still I keep waiting - might sound strange, but in my case the reason is that my love isn't real; in fact I was hoping and whishing to be in love, but I wasn't - that's why I'm hesitating, I knew it deep inside, but was hoping that love was still to come.

Good Bye,

Hase 

[Carlos]

Hello Hase,

I'm very glad to see you find not bad my comment on your poem.

Something I forgot to mention: It has an extraordinary power. You can not stop reading when you begin. Like you were in a wild river.

Take care

Charles

 

 

 

[Hase]

Thank You