Hase
Autorin
Happy Birthday
Hey,
I’m seventeen now. Yesterday was my birthday. You know, I thought of you as soon as I awoke. I reached for my phone to see if you had written. You had not. I told myself: hey, it’s okay. Never mind. Just forget about him and have a nice day. It’s your day! He’s not gonna congratulate you and that’s okay. That’s what I told myself, pretending it was all cool and I could easily drop the thought of you and greet the day with a bright smile. Well, I really tried to. I had breakfast with my family, we took photos and had some of Mum’s wonderful chocolate muffins, then I got on the bus (which meant having to bear twenty minutes of horrible Schlager) and finally entered school. My friends were already awaiting me, all handing me lovely gifts, and we chatted and laughed together. I am very lucky to have found friends like them. They are true friends. Only you were missing. You passed by for a short moment. Did you notice me? Guess not. Well, time to go upstairs to chemistry lesson. The teacher holding the royal blue Fehling sample against my white blouse. Then French, Biology, a short break. I step outside and look around. Where are you? I spot you hanging around with some friends. Didn’t you know it was my birthday? You had to, must have overheard it! So why didn’t you say a word. Even write me! I don’t get it. Confused, I enter English lesson. A girl of my class presents a poem, about love and sorrow. I’m about to cry. GOD DAMN. I’m about to cry FOR YOU. I sit there, shivering, aching, only hoping no one will notice. The following maths lesson eases the pain a little, numbers always calm me down, they are so reliable. But then, economy. At this point, I just wanna die I hear a girl whisper. So true. Then, finally, the bell rings. I can go back home, home to my phone. Maybe you have written me? But, nothing. Well, okay, let’s just wait I said to myself, knowing you had piano lessons in the afternoon. Maybe in the evening you’d write me. No reason to be sad or disappointed, it’s all right.
I waited. All afternoon, and into the evening. But you didn’t write one single syllable. I began to feel sorry having wasted this, my day and not having appreciated the gifts I got as much I should have because I had been THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL DAY. Got it, I thought ABOUT YOU, because YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME! You don’t know how any other sweet present would be worthless to me if only YOU HAD WRITTEN ME! You don’t know it, do you? You don’t know how my heart broke when you didn’t write. Nor do you know how happy you would have made me by just sending me one single emoji. Just one. One crappy emoji. But you don’t care at all, do you? You hate me.
I congratulated you on your birthday this year, have you forgotten? Sure, doesn’t mean you are in any way obliged to send me wishes. But, would it really have hurt your pride that much? Believe me, not knowing what is going on inside you drives me crazy. What am I to you? Just nothing, a Nobody? Then who do you think you are?! First tell me you loved me forever, and then not care at all any more? You said we could just be friends. Your words. Tell me, is that what you call BEING FRIENDS? Becoming strangers, who never speak a word, never look at each other, never care at all? Honestly, if that's what you call FAIR and PEACE, then you are the meanest creep I ever came across. But is that you? Are you so heartless? Or do you still feel for me? Are you just frightened of being hurt again? Say, have I hurt you? Is it just that you don't know how to talk to me, how to look at me? But then why are you not able to at least write me these small universal words: Happy Birthday.
You know, there were moments when I thought about hating you. But I could never hate you. I love you too much.
Yours,
A girl who misses you.
Hey,
I’m seventeen now. Yesterday was my birthday. You know, I thought of you as soon as I awoke. I reached for my phone to see if you had written. You had not. I told myself: hey, it’s okay. Never mind. Just forget about him and have a nice day. It’s your day! He’s not gonna congratulate you and that’s okay. That’s what I told myself, pretending it was all cool and I could easily drop the thought of you and greet the day with a bright smile. Well, I really tried to. I had breakfast with my family, we took photos and had some of Mum’s wonderful chocolate muffins, then I got on the bus (which meant having to bear twenty minutes of horrible Schlager) and finally entered school. My friends were already awaiting me, all handing me lovely gifts, and we chatted and laughed together. I am very lucky to have found friends like them. They are true friends. Only you were missing. You passed by for a short moment. Did you notice me? Guess not. Well, time to go upstairs to chemistry lesson. The teacher holding the royal blue Fehling sample against my white blouse. Then French, Biology, a short break. I step outside and look around. Where are you? I spot you hanging around with some friends. Didn’t you know it was my birthday? You had to, must have overheard it! So why didn’t you say a word. Even write me! I don’t get it. Confused, I enter English lesson. A girl of my class presents a poem, about love and sorrow. I’m about to cry. GOD DAMN. I’m about to cry FOR YOU. I sit there, shivering, aching, only hoping no one will notice. The following maths lesson eases the pain a little, numbers always calm me down, they are so reliable. But then, economy. At this point, I just wanna die I hear a girl whisper. So true. Then, finally, the bell rings. I can go back home, home to my phone. Maybe you have written me? But, nothing. Well, okay, let’s just wait I said to myself, knowing you had piano lessons in the afternoon. Maybe in the evening you’d write me. No reason to be sad or disappointed, it’s all right.
I waited. All afternoon, and into the evening. But you didn’t write one single syllable. I began to feel sorry having wasted this, my day and not having appreciated the gifts I got as much I should have because I had been THINKING ABOUT YOU ALL DAY. Got it, I thought ABOUT YOU, because YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME! You don’t know how any other sweet present would be worthless to me if only YOU HAD WRITTEN ME! You don’t know it, do you? You don’t know how my heart broke when you didn’t write. Nor do you know how happy you would have made me by just sending me one single emoji. Just one. One crappy emoji. But you don’t care at all, do you? You hate me.
I congratulated you on your birthday this year, have you forgotten? Sure, doesn’t mean you are in any way obliged to send me wishes. But, would it really have hurt your pride that much? Believe me, not knowing what is going on inside you drives me crazy. What am I to you? Just nothing, a Nobody? Then who do you think you are?! First tell me you loved me forever, and then not care at all any more? You said we could just be friends. Your words. Tell me, is that what you call BEING FRIENDS? Becoming strangers, who never speak a word, never look at each other, never care at all? Honestly, if that's what you call FAIR and PEACE, then you are the meanest creep I ever came across. But is that you? Are you so heartless? Or do you still feel for me? Are you just frightened of being hurt again? Say, have I hurt you? Is it just that you don't know how to talk to me, how to look at me? But then why are you not able to at least write me these small universal words: Happy Birthday.
You know, there were moments when I thought about hating you. But I could never hate you. I love you too much.
Yours,
A girl who misses you.
