Laura Marie
Autorin
And again another day is over
Somehow it feels like the days last longer
From day to day my world gets darker
Life’s just getting harder and harder
To be honest, I don’t know where I’m at
I feel completely lost and somehow misled
My life consists of hopelessness and fear
I’m so tired of being here
Nevertheless, I pretend to be alright
But in the end I stay awake all night
Darkness is the only thing I can see
And then I realize life’s not what it used to be
My head is full, my feelings are dead
I’ve lost it all, I’m just a silhouette
I don’t see a reason why I should try
It’s almost like I fell out of the sky
I feel like a stranger walking outside
A stranger whose world’s turned into black and white
Have lost all joy and only feel pain
I wish that I could fly again
When I look up, the only thing I can see
Is how they blaspheme and glare at me
Suddenly, I feel a teardrop on my cheek
The others are just so strong and I’m so weak
Walking home, but can’t look ahead
The things they said still ring in my head
When I close my eyes, I hear them laugh
I wish that I was good enough
I end up sitting on the cold floor
Crying behind my locked door
I realize it’s hard to breathe
Why can’t I just leave?
In the darkness I can’t even see the stars
I’m completely devastated and only feel my invisible scars
I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see
That’s not the girl I used to be
I miss the times I used to be happy and cheerful
There was no need to worry, life was just wonderful
Adolescence is the most awesome time, they say
While I watch my youth fade away
Everthing feels like a waste of time
I know the sun won’t come out and shine
Life’s not what it used to be
I really miss the old, happy me
I tried so hard and kept fighting for so long
But now I’m falling apart and can’t carry on
In the end I failed and didn’t succeed
Just realized that there are numerous goals I haven’t achieved
Living a life full of emptiness and weakness is hard
Especially when you can’t find a light in the dark
I’m a failure and don’t belong here
My biggest wish is to finally disappear
Still waiting for the sadness and pain to subside
I seem to be happy, but I’m broken inside
I fake my smile so they don’t see
But in reality, nobody knows me
Hope and confidence are already gone
There is no point in moving on
My mind’s not filled with high spirits or bliss
I think I’m not getting through this
They ought not know, so I attempt to hush
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much
I’m gonna run from myself, run far away
Need to calm down, gasp for air and pray
Pray that these nightmares finally draw to a close
Pray that I’ll be able to get rid of those shadows
Thinking ‘bout the past makes tears stream down my face
It brings back my memories which no one can erase
I don’t know what to do anymore
I’d never felt so misunderstood before
Still can’t keep my life under control
Being able to go on is my only goal
Watching out of the window, clouds are passing by
I observe them cover the bright blue sky
Strange things are going on inside me
My eyes get filles with tears silently
The weather has changed, raindrops are falling down
I can’t put up with all this, I think I’m gonna drown
The world gets more unbearable day by day
There is no way out but to run away
Run away from this intolerant and judgemental society
From all the misery, the melancholic melody and my anxiety
Why do I have to live in a world where peace doesn’t exist?
But unfortunately, here’s too much negativity I cannot resist
I feel the crack in my heart that can’t be mended
When will all the torture finally have ended?
Being unpopular is harder than it may appear
And I don’t even understand why I’m still here
My sky became darker and my dreams have wiped out
I feel extremely suffocated, what’s this all about?
This is not supposed to be a phase again
It’s a never-ending story of desperation and pain
No words can express my deep sorrow
I have no clue whether there’s a tomorrow
Guess I deserve the grief and all that stuff
Why am I not good enough?