Hase
Autorin
The Awakening
Sometimes I wish I could go back
back to the times when my children’s room
was the whole world
I could spend hours rearranging the furniture,
or renaming my fluffy little toys,
and each time that I had finished,
it felt as if I had changed the world
in some mysterious way–
and I had.
Sometimes I wish I could go back
back to the days when so little
meant so much
when everything that mattered
was mine to design
and nothing
was out of reach
when the world was
touchable, approachable,
both clearly defined
and infinite, full of magic.
***
But, gradually, things started to change…
I began to lose sight of the horizon
My pupils dilated
I began to feel that I was
missing out on something
something essential
I started to feel that perhaps the world
only just began
where I had thought it ended
For a moment I caught a glimpse of
distant stars
The day came when I first woke up to
the sound of the sea breathing inside of me
Suddenly I could feel the waves breaking,
speaking of the parts of myself
that are beyond my perception
and beyond my power
All of a sudden, my mind
turned into a night sky,
my thoughts into stars,
my emotions into gravity
pulling my heart towards yours
All of a sudden, none of the things
that truly matter
were mine anymore
They had moved
out of my reach,
out of my sight,
out of my touch.
Suddenly I came to the realization that
no matter how far I might travel,
there would always remain
one more road to take,
one more distance to overcome
The world had become
unapproachable,
unfathomable,
and yet no less beautiful.
And I think it is this awakening
that has both filled my heart with
loneliness
and set me free…
***
Now when I say today
that I want it all back,
what I really mean is this:
Please, don’t let my heart forget
how to fall in love with the rain
Please, stop me from tearing
all those pages out of
the book of my soul
Please, tell me to keep
reaching for the stars
Please, when I watch the sunset,
let it remind me of something,
other than all the things that
will never
be mine.
Sometimes I wish I could go back
back to the times when my children’s room
was the whole world
I could spend hours rearranging the furniture,
or renaming my fluffy little toys,
and each time that I had finished,
it felt as if I had changed the world
in some mysterious way–
and I had.
Sometimes I wish I could go back
back to the days when so little
meant so much
when everything that mattered
was mine to design
and nothing
was out of reach
when the world was
touchable, approachable,
both clearly defined
and infinite, full of magic.
***
But, gradually, things started to change…
I began to lose sight of the horizon
My pupils dilated
I began to feel that I was
missing out on something
something essential
I started to feel that perhaps the world
only just began
where I had thought it ended
For a moment I caught a glimpse of
distant stars
The day came when I first woke up to
the sound of the sea breathing inside of me
Suddenly I could feel the waves breaking,
speaking of the parts of myself
that are beyond my perception
and beyond my power
All of a sudden, my mind
turned into a night sky,
my thoughts into stars,
my emotions into gravity
pulling my heart towards yours
All of a sudden, none of the things
that truly matter
were mine anymore
They had moved
out of my reach,
out of my sight,
out of my touch.
Suddenly I came to the realization that
no matter how far I might travel,
there would always remain
one more road to take,
one more distance to overcome
The world had become
unapproachable,
unfathomable,
and yet no less beautiful.
And I think it is this awakening
that has both filled my heart with
loneliness
and set me free…
***
Now when I say today
that I want it all back,
what I really mean is this:
Please, don’t let my heart forget
how to fall in love with the rain
Please, stop me from tearing
all those pages out of
the book of my soul
Please, tell me to keep
reaching for the stars
Please, when I watch the sunset,
let it remind me of something,
other than all the things that
will never
be mine.